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The official Tweets of Burger King USA.
Joined July 2010
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*takes selfie with fries*
Fries: No, delete it.
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in a relationship
it’s complicated
Whopper
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search history:
how do you know if onion rings like you
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*finally gets around to attempting homework*
“well, time for a drive-thru run.”
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# TakeYourChildToWorkDay
[Whopper and Whopper Jr enter room]
“Dad, why are a bunch of humans staring at us?”
“RUN, SON, RUN!”
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*Points at cars in BK drive-thru*
“THESE PEOPLE TOTALLY GET IT”
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He took my Croissan’wich, your honor.
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Who called them onion rings and not pure happiness?
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bring her fries
be fries
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“Your job is done here, champ.”
*takes last bite of Whopper*
*wipes away single tear*
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[at wedding]
Will you love her, cherish her, and take her to BK every day like you used to?
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I have good & bad news.
Girl: Ok, the bad news?
Guy: I ate your Whopper.
Girl: OMG [cries] and the good news?
Guy: IT. WAS. AM-AAA-ZING.
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Unlike some sayings, you definitely can have your fries, and eat them too.
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Hold me closer Tiny Whopperrrr
No? Those aren’t the words?
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*gets relationship advice*
*dates onion rings instead*
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fries are red
onion rings are blue
actually just really hungry rn
and neither of those are true
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An order of onion rings are called friends.
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A wise man once said, “Whopper.” And everyone agreed.
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Awwww those fries in your hand look so good right now.
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Strolls in late to class with Croissan’wich
Looks at teacher
‘Suup
Teacher eats Croissan’wich
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[throws fries at potato harvest]
“Go. You’re free now.”
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429 retweets
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IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE
-Guy who’s flame grilling a Whopper, probably
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279 retweets
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“When did you know it was true love?”
“As soon as I saw the onion rings, I knew.”
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Dating fries…
Pro: they’re great listeners.
Con: You look like you’re talking to yourself.
Worth it.
204 retweets
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Roses are Whoppers
Violets are Whoppers
Never try to write poetry when you’re hungry.
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Let’s roll to BK.
*lays down on floor*
*rolls out the door*
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Selfie tip: be onion rings.
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Kid: Dad, can you hand me my Whopper, I’m hungry.
Dad: Hi hungry, I’m Dad.
Kid: YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME
*throws napkins*
# dadjokes
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[please enter password]
ilovewhoppers
[password must contain one side item]
iloveonionrings
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Girl: I don’t think we can see each other any more.
*boyfriend covered in pile of chicken fries*
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Take her to BK or lose her forever.
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*doesn’t know anything about basketball*
*roots for the Whopper*
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No, YOUR tired and write typos becuase you need breakfast.
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Fries: LET’S JOIN FORCES
Onion rings: WE’LL TAKE OVER THE WORLD
Both: MUAHAHAHAHA
Guy: [eats fries and onion rings] Delicious.
~fin~
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52 retweets
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A refresh button but for fries.
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67 retweets
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*goes from zero to amazing in like 3 hashbrowns*
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Burgers > Brackets
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*bracket busts*
*temporarily sad*
*orders Chicken Fries*
*goes back to normal*
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