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The official Tweets of Burger King USA.
Joined July 2010
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Weekend plans? You mean onion rings.
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“Truth or Dare”
“Dare”
“Go get us BK”
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: I’m going to miss you
: I know
*eats Whopper*
*wipes away single tear*
365 retweets
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*Goes to prom with Whopper*
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Him: can I have all of the Chicken Fries, please?
BK: How many boxes?
Him: I don’t think you understood me.
354 retweets
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365 retweets
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Mom: what’s on your phone background?
Girl: my boyfriend
Mom: it looks like fries to me
Girl: GET OUT OF MY LIFE
417 retweets
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Four five seconds from drive-thru.
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Feelings
Feeling
Feelin
Feeli
Feel
Fe
Fr
Fri
Frie
Fries
1,019 retweets
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*emo guy orders*
“Would you like any sighs with that?”
“excuse me?”
“Sides. Any sides with that.”
629 retweets
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Nice try, potato that’s not a fry.
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“I’ve got you covered.” -ketchup
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*guy has a wonderful day*
*goes back to lady at the drive-thru*
“I actually did it”
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Gonna need some BK. Starting, yesterday.
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Time fries when you’re tweeting in puns.
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Says he can’t cook.
Asks what you want from BK.
Keeper.
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Sketch artist: Tell me about your parents facial features
Fries: very potato-like
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Guy: “I got you a gift.”
Girl: “You got me a Big Fish sandwich?”
Guy: “Was I talking to myself again?”
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*takes selfie with fries*
Fries: No, delete it.
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in a relationship
it’s complicated
Whopper
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search history:
how do you know if onion rings like you
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*finally gets around to attempting homework*
“well, time for a drive-thru run.”
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# TakeYourChildToWorkDay
[Whopper and Whopper Jr enter room]
“Dad, why are a bunch of humans staring at us?”
“RUN, SON, RUN!”
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*Points at cars in BK drive-thru*
“THESE PEOPLE TOTALLY GET IT”
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He took my Croissan’wich, your honor.
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Who called them onion rings and not pure happiness?
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bring her fries
be fries
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“Your job is done here, champ.”
*takes last bite of Whopper*
*wipes away single tear*
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[at wedding]
Will you love her, cherish her, and take her to BK every day like you used to?
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I have good & bad news.
Girl: Ok, the bad news?
Guy: I ate your Whopper.
Girl: OMG [cries] and the good news?
Guy: IT. WAS. AM-AAA-ZING.
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Unlike some sayings, you definitely can have your fries, and eat them too.
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Hold me closer Tiny Whopperrrr
No? Those aren’t the words?
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*gets relationship advice*
*dates onion rings instead*
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fries are red
onion rings are blue
actually just really hungry rn
and neither of those are true
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An order of onion rings are called friends.
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A wise man once said, “Whopper.” And everyone agreed.
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Awwww those fries in your hand look so good right now.
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Strolls in late to class with Croissan’wich
Looks at teacher
‘Suup
Teacher eats Croissan’wich
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[throws fries at potato harvest]
“Go. You’re free now.”
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IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE
-Guy who’s flame grilling a Whopper, probably
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287 retweets
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“When did you know it was true love?”
“As soon as I saw the onion rings, I knew.”
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Dating fries…
Pro: they’re great listeners.
Con: You look like you’re talking to yourself.
Worth it.
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Roses are Whoppers
Violets are Whoppers
Never try to write poetry when you’re hungry.
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Let’s roll to BK.
*lays down on floor*
*rolls out the door*
180 retweets
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